Failure is Good

I lost my job last week. No way to sugar coat it there - it is what it is. Beyond the initial sting of rejection is a lasting void that’s hard to ignore. Things are pretty raw right now, which felt like the opportune time to approach my thoughts on the matter.

What I know for certain is that growth is not a linear function. It has ebbs and flows, growth and correction. Much like people who trade the stock market, when making money seem easy, everyone is in a good mood - in those moments, it feels like anything you touch nets you a gain, a positive. It’s in those times of correction where people hold their head in their hands, continually asking “why” or “how.”

For myself, those feelings are mutual. What I also know is mutual: traders still come back the next day, regardless of fear. The potential for upside outweighs other priorities or emotions.

For people like me, this cycle of doubt and fear to growth and optimism is a cycle. What goes around comes around. It’s thermodynamics - for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Time has shown again and again that for every difficult work position I’m placed into, there are seemingly 6 months of aggressive, positive growth followed by a crash.

In hindsight, I should have predicted this was coming - This is why it’s called hindsight. In the present, what I can say is that the feeling is difficult but familiar.

You’ve read far enough to rightfully ask “what’s in it for me here - are you just going to wallow in self-pity?”

The answer is yes, but with lessons you too can take away.

1. When in a familiar place, review your prior experiences and learn how to improve from them.
   
   1. In this case, I was in a difficult position before and crashed out in the same time frame.
2. Learn to ask for help even if it feels like a foreign concept.
   
   1. In the peak, bleak hours of my role, I had dug a moat around what I was facing. Rather than ask for help, I decided that thrashing with my responsibilities was a better plan than extending my hand out to those who've been there before.
   2. Reaching out for help and being told to stop is better than the alternative.
3. Don’t fall on your sword - fall back on those there to support you
   
   1. Self flagellation is far more appealing during dark moments than submitting yourself unto your peers and elders. Why face the idea that you’re failing when you can pretend that everything is fine. It’s not - and it only gets worse.
4. Ego is your enemy
   
   1. In team-oriented roles, or any career in general, people don’t care whether you can do something all on your own. For type-A people, this is a foreign concept. To everyone else, it is everyday life.
   2. Letting your ego get the best of you, continually reinforcing to yourself that you are without need, is the very moment to shed that framework. 
   3. Self preservation is a place of weakness, not of strength.
5. Sit in the pain of failure - it is a valuable, albeit direct, teacher.
   
   1. Failing sucks But everyone fails - some, every day.
   2. Feel this pain, learn from it, grow from it.

Beyond these lessons, I continue to mantra one concept: “Good.”

1. You’ve failed at your hardest role at this company? Good, that just means you have more to learn
2. You’ve been demoted to where you started at this company? Good, that means you can again prove you’re beyond capable of great things
3. You’re sad? Good, find the things that make you happy.
4. You’re defeated in the moment? Good, smile back - you haven’t quit, you’re fighting a worthy opponent.
5. You’re feeling doubt, the pain of uncertainty, and the hollowness of being stripped of your hard work? Good, fill that space with new, even better wins.
   
   1. When your house has burned to the ground, good, it means we can build things back even better, stronger, with better materials, a better layout, and with updated appliances and utilities
6. You are in a role that doesn’t feel important again? Great - this means you have more time to do other things outside of work that feel important TO YOU.

The worst thing we can do is quit when the going gets tough. The best thing we can do is smile back when we get punched in the face.

‍